Four Dudes One Chick
by The Angry Lioness
Summary: What happens when Eames convinces everyone to watch "Two Girls One Cup"?


Another day at work in the warehouse. Eames was on Ivory Maximoff's Facebook trying to learn more about her, since he might have had to impersonate her. She was Jayne's best friend who was the girl she kissed in that one picture. He looked through her pictures which were mostly from beauty pageants and photo shoots. She had at least a hundred comments on every picture of people telling her how pretty she was. Eames got tired of looking through her pictures and went back to her profile.

He saw she was in over fifty videos and decided to watch a few. Most of them were too long, mainly the movies. There was a recent video posted that was short and in the thumbnail view of the clip, he saw Jayne.

"Two Women React to Two Girls One Cup" was the title of the video. He clicked on it. It took place inside Jaynes bedroom in front of her computer.

"Alright, let's watch this." Said Ivory. The piano music started playing and momentarily the girls were laughing and looking away.

"What the fuck!" Jayne yelled.

"That is not ice cream." Said Ivory. Soon, the white haired girl was jumping out of her chair and running to the bathroom.

How disgusting can it be? He thought. Eames took a break to look up the video.

WARNING: PORNOGRAPHIC CONTENT

Eames didn't care. He confirmed that he was over eighteen and started the video. For the first ten seconds, he kept a straight face, peering in before backing away slightly.

"That's disgusting." He muttered. "Is that shit?" He covered his mouth. "Did she swallow that?" Eames gasped. It got worse. When he thought it couldn't grow more repulsive, it did. Soon, one of the girls put her fingers down her throat and threw up. As Eames watched this, a funny idea sparked. He just had to convince everyone to watch. Especially Arthur.

Break time came around and Duke went out and brought back Chinese. Even on break, Arthur would only discuss work.

"So Ariadne, how's the model of the concert hall going?"

She seemed a little nervous to talk to him. "I'm halfway finished."

"And Eames, were you looking up her friends or slacking off?"

"I was working alright." Said Eames. "Miss Maximoff has her own little fan club."

"Because she's a model." Said Arthur.

"She's just a typical teenage girl's sidekick." Said Eames.

"And Lucy Allerdyce?" Duke asked.

"Haven't looked her up yet darling. But they're all the same."

Ariadne shook her head. "Not all teenagers are the same." She told him. "I wasn't like that."

"I never said that." Eames cooed. "You don't look like a messed up teenage girl anyway."

"I'll take that as a compliment." Ariadne grumbled as she glared at him.

"So what were you like as a teenager?" he asked curiously.

"I lived in a small Canadian town. There were a few stores and a small movie theater but that's all." She explained. It seemed as if she didn't feel like talking. There were moments of silence. After lunch, Eames called over Duke.

"Since you're new to the team, you have to pass an initiation test." He told him.

"No one said anything about an initiation." Said Duke.

"Of course not, darling. But to be officially welcome, you need to watch this video."

"Sounds easy. What video?" Duke sat down by the laptop and Eames hit play. Moments later, the Brit was looking away. Duke looked at the screen wide eyed and turned his head towards Eames. "What the hell is this?"

"This is what happens when two girls share a cup darling."

"No…" Duke's stomach churned. "Please tell me that's chocolate ice cream." He put a hand over his mouth as Eames cracked up. Immediately, he ran outside the door. A few moments later he came back in. "Do you have a glass of water?" he asked with a sick-to-his-stomach moan.

Next up was Yusuf. He was eating pudding while working so this would be golden. Eames convinced him that he found an interesting video online related to chemistry and Yusuf left his work station to watch it without turning off his Bunsen burner. He began to watch the video as he continued to eat his pudding.

"This isn't chemistry related…" but when he saw the boobs, Yusuf starred. He pulled away trying to get as far away from the screen as possible. Eames thought it was hilarious how Yusuf would sometimes turn away and look back. "Oh my God. What have you been doing in your spare time?" Eames cackled like a witch as Yusuf looked over at his pudding and placed it on the desk as far away from his sight as possible. "Is she puking?" He was ready to puke. Yusuf started gagging and hopped off the seat, walking away.

"Are you ok Duke?" Arthur asked. "You look ill."

"Eames showed me the initiation video." Said Duke sickly.

"What initiation video?"

"Eames told me I had to watch a video to pass an initiation test. It was just foul."

Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes. "Eames was probably trying to amuse himself." He got out of his seat and approached Eames. "What are you doing?"

"I found the link on Ivory's page." Said Eames innocently.

"What video did you show him?"

"It was sick!" Yusuf complained from his work station. "Just disgusting!"

"What was it?"

"Maybe you should see for yourself darling." Said Eames. Arthur sat down and clicked play. "I don't see what the big deal is; it's just two lesbians-." He paused and his eyes grew wide. "What the fuck? Eames, you need help!" But he couldn't get his eyes off the screen. Finally, Arthur paused the video and stood up. "You need to talk to someone." He told Eames who was laughing his ass off. "I am scarred for life now!" Arthur stomped off to his desk. Ariadne rolled her eyes and walked over to Eames desk.

"What the hell is going on?" she asked obviously annoyed.

"Eames is being obnoxious." Said Yusuf.

"He's always obnoxious!"

"Well he went too far this time!"

Ariadne looked at the screen and then over at Eames with crossed eyes. "You showed him porn, didn't you?"

"If you think you're so tough, maybe you should watch it." Eames challenged.

"Don't!" Yusuf warned. Ariadne shrugged.

"I'll watch it. How disgusting is it?"

"Believe me darling. It made my skin crawl."

Ariadne sat down and hit play. As she watched the video, Yusuf would turn his head every now and then and look at the screen. The architect wasn't flinching, gagging or screaming. Instead her eyebrows rose. She reached the end.

"I didn't see that part." Said Yusuf as he was watching from afar.

Ariadne turned around to face Eames again. "Are you serious? Eames, I was a recent college graduate. I've seen it all." She looked at the pudding cup. "You gonna eat this?"

"Take it." Said Yusuf.

"Cool." Ariadne picked up the pudding and returned to her work station.


End file.
